Parents think its cool to drink and smoke with their twelve year old daughter....
Published on August 22, 2004 By The Crusaders In Personal Relationships
One of my closest friends came round the other day bringing her kids round to play with my son. We hadn't seen each other for a while so we had a lot to catch up on and while our kids played we eventually we got round to gossiping about people we know....
And my friend said "Oh my god you won't believe this, Sam and Normy are back together and...." (Normy was someone she went out with for a while and invited himself to move in bringing his two kids, from his exwife Sam, every second week....oh and expected Son to pay for EVERYTHING!) anyway, Normy's ex wife, Sam, has just begun working at the same place that Son's brothers girlfriend works and invited a workmate round for a couple of drinks. When the workmate got there (it was not my friends brothers girlfried but a close friend who also worked there) Sam and Normy were so drunk she couldn't get any sense out of them and their twelve year old daughter was sitting at the table on her boyfriends lap drinking and smoking. Apparently the friend of a friend of a friend got out of there as quick as possible, disgusted by what she saw. If that's parenting then I think we have a big problem here.....I've known their daughter since she was about 7 or 8 and she was always the type that wanted to hit 30 before they were 13 and quite frankly I am outraged at her parents for thinking it's 'cool' to drink and smoke with their kids....and I know Normy is also partial to a little weed....is that also in the 'cool' category for her parents? And what about the boyfriend....is it 'cool' also to let your 12 year old have sex at home? What road are these people allowing their children to travel before they are emotionally mature to do so?
Now, when I was thirteen I drank half of my parents cask of wine while they were out...out of curiosity...and ofcourse I bragged to my older sister feeling like I was 'real mature.'...little did I know that mum and dad had noticed the wine missing and had blamed my sister who after hearing my confession told my parents in order to clear her name. Well consequently I was forced to quit my job (as I worked with those older than me who must of been influencing my behavour. They were not) and grounded for eternity. I despised my sister for a while as I felt like she had betrayed me but in the long run I was so glad I was caught out and punished. Imagine where I'd be today if I had started drinking at 13......I'm not a prude and I do drink, though reasonably responsibly, but I don't believe its mentally healthy to start at such a young age.
In hindsight, childhood was the absolute best time in my life and I wish I had realized it at the time....that's the trouble when you're young you just don't believe people when they say that but think that they are perhaps just trying to keep you from something or spoil your fun. If I could re do my life I'd savour every second of being a kid and that's what parents are meant to do keep your childhood intact until you are ready to grow up and enjoy all the responsibilities of bills, rent, tax, work and all those lovely things that fill our adult lives.

By the way....Sam and Normy have since split up again.

Comments
on Aug 23, 2004

When the workmate got there (it was not my friends brothers girlfried but a close friend who also worked there) Sam and Normy were so drunk she couldn't get any sense out of them and their twelve year old daughter was sitting at the table on her boyfriends lap drinking and smoking. Apparently the friend of a friend of a friend got out of there as quick as possible, disgusted by what she saw. If that's parenting then I think we have a big problem here.....I've known their daughter since she was about 7 or 8 and she was always the type that wanted to hit 30 before they were 13 and quite frankly I am outraged at her parents for thinking it's 'cool' to drink and smoke with their kids....and I know Normy is also partial to a little weed....is that also in the 'cool' category for her parents? And what about the boyfriend....is it 'cool' also to let your 12 year old have sex at home? What road are these people allowing their children to travel before they are emotionally mature to do so?

These people you describe are so much like my first ex and his wife that it's scary.  Her daughter has been dating and having sex since the age of 12, as well as drinking, smoking and doing drugs whenever she felt like it.  The reason she gives for allowing all these things is that if she doesn't, the daughter won't like her, and might go live with her father. @@  And then, of course, when MY daughter goes to visit, they give her the same freedoms....and to a child who knows that smoking and drinking are not allowed until 18, dating isn't allowed until 16, sex is discouraged until marriage, and drugs are a complete NO-NO, period---well, it's like Disneyland!!   Fun and games, which I then have to deal with the fall out from when she gets home.  Gotta love these "parents" who think that it's better to be friends with their children than to actually parent them.

on Aug 23, 2004
Poetmom99,
It's really not fair on the kids, is it....do they forget that they are supposed to be guiding, nurturing and guarding their kids.....sending them down a steady, safe path of life not letting them do all the things that they are not emotionally mature enough to handle and can lead to a path of destruction. I would much rather have my son ocassionally be a little peeved with me for not letting him do everything he wants than to think he'll like me because I do let him run riot. If your a good parent your childs love is as unconditional as yours is for them....there will always be differences of opinions, it's only natural, but I wont sacrifice my childs life just to be cool.
My friend and I talked further of the domino effect these people actions could have .....child goes to school.....brags to all her friends...."My mum and dad let me do this.....', childs friends feel peer pressure to be doing the same no matter what their relationship with their parents is like.....it's just not a good scenario overall.....
Sometimes I wish I could adopt every child who is lacking the love and attention of their own parents......sadly I feel that would be all too many....
on Aug 28, 2004
Parents think its cool to drink and smoke with their twelve year old daughter....


The more peasants that smoke themselves to death, the better. Why shouldn't they start young if it rids us of insignificant plebs, with their common blood?
on Aug 28, 2004
Peter,
I hope that this is one huge act you're putting on because if it's not...you are the insignificant pleb that we should be rid of.