Two men walk out of a pub.........light up a cigarette... across the road is a dog.....sitting on the curb licking it's balls..... One of the men says to the other "Mate....I wish I could do that"....pointing at the dog..... "Well shit!" says the other " I think you'd better pat it first!" I just heard this one the other day... Prince Charles is in Australia giving a royal tour.... He comes out of his hotel one morning wearing a fox hat... One of the reporters waiting out the fro...

Two men walk out of a pub.........light up a cigarette... across the road is a dog.....sitting on the curb licking it's balls..... One of the men says to the other "Mate....I wish I could do that"....pointing at the dog..... "Well shit!" says the other " I think you'd better pat it first!" I just heard this one the other day... Prince Charles is in Australia giving a royal tour.... He comes out of his hotel one morning wearing a fox hat... One of the reporters waiting out the fro...

A friend e-mailed this.....there were more but I picked out a few of the best... Subject: Billy Connolly's 'Did you ever stop and wonder? Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?" Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum." Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? ...

A friend e-mailed this.....there were more but I picked out a few of the best... Subject: Billy Connolly's 'Did you ever stop and wonder? Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?" Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum." Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? ...

In a restroom: > >TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW > >In a Laundromat: > >AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE >LIGHT GOES OUT > >In a London department store: > >BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS > >In an office: > >WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK >OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN > >In another office: > >AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON >THE...

In a restroom: > >TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW > >In a Laundromat: > >AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE >LIGHT GOES OUT > >In a London department store: > >BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS > >In an office: > >WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK >OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN > >In another office: > >AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON >THE...